“To crave and to have are as like as a thing and its shadow. For when does a berry break upon the tongue as sweetly as when one longs to taste it, and when is the taste refracted into so many hues and savors of ripeness and earth, and when do our senses know any thing so utterly as when we lack it? And here again is a foreshadowing -- the world will be made whole. For to wish for a hand on one's hair is all but to feel it. So whatever we may lose, very craving gives it back to us again.” (Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping)
"So, have you had any crazy cravings?"
We've all heard the stories of pregnant women whose cravings have been so overpowering that they drive themselves to Wendy's at 3AM for a Frosty and a cup of that yellow slop the place dares to call "cheese."
It might seem strange, but I've spent a lot of time in the last 9 months feeling a real sense of disappointment. I was intrigued by the possibility of experience a craving so intense that it consumed my every thought, my every need. But, in 38 weeks, I haven't shaken Jordan awake in the middle of the night to demand that he find pickles or fried Oreos. I've secretly considered doing it anyway, just for the sake of experience. Eh, the guy needs his sleep.
What I have lacked in food cravings, I have experienced in the deep, unshakeable yearning for the first encounter with Ruby Day. I have also felt a desperate need to savor every moment with Jordan. It is an aching sort of joy, to gaze into the unknown from such a comfortable, fulfilling perch.
Yet, we itch for something more. Our breath is taken away by the presence of a soul so beloved. I do not yet know her face, the color of her hair or eyes, the shape of her hands, the feel of her skin. But she has captivated me, stolen my heart, convinced me that when we leap from this place of security, we will soar and land softly. That, "when the day is new, we'll find that tomorrow is just ordinary, too."
If I've craved anything food related, it's been ice cream. But, I can eat ice cream any day, pregnant or not, so I'm not sure I can chalk that up to growing a baby. That said, the discovery a couple of years ago that you can throw a frozen banana into a food processor and end up with a luscious soft-serve-esque dessert was life changing. Add a scoop of tahini, a dash of cinnamon, and a sprinkle of sesame seeds and you've got heaven in a bowl.
Cinnamon-Tahini Banana "Ice Cream" with Toasted Black Sesame Seeds
This recipe will make one large serving or two small servings.
2 overripe bananas, frozen
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1-2 tablespoons tahini (to taste)
2 teaspoons brown sugar or honey (optional)
1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract (optional)
1-2 tablespoons almond or coconut milk (as needed)
1-2 teaspoons black sesame seeds, toasted
1. Heat a dry skillet over medium-high heat. Add sesame seeds and toast, stirring frequently, for 3-5 minutes, until fragrant.
2. In a food processor or high powered blender (such as a Vitamix), blend frozen bananas. Add cinnamon, tahini, sweetener, and vanilla. If the bananas do not take on an ice cream like texture, add a tablespoon of milk at a time. Continue blending until bananas are creamy. The final product should be like soft serve.
3. Top with sesame seeds and slices of bananas.