It has been a weekend of meandering, through the woods and house and town. I seem to have come down with a touch of illness. Thankfully, it stayed away until this afternoon. Soup and sleep tonight; Monday will find me well. Fingers and toes are crossed.
My posts have been sparse. Part of that has been intentional, part of it has been the chaos of the last few months. On the intentional front, I have been mulling over this space, questioning my reasons for having a blog, wondering why it feels like a chore rather than an outlet, curious about the world of blogging and it's benefits, it's drawbacks.
Look, it would be dishonest for me to say that I don't want to be a well-known writer. It would be a lie if I said I scoff at the idea of having my recipes lauded by thousands. I've spent a lot of time questioning my intentions, wondering what it means to be driven, to want to succeed.
At the end of the day, I've come to realize that I don't want my blog to be a place to market myself. There are countless blogs out there, many of them successful. If you don't have a toe in the "blogosphere" (a title I loathe), you may not realize that it is a cutthroat sort of world. It can also be a really beautiful and rewarding place, a corner of the universe that allows for like-minded folks to come together in community, to create, and inspire. That's all I want from this, to be a part of a community, to create, to be inspired and, ultimately, to inspire someone in some, small way.
I simply want this space to be a space for me to express myself creatively, practically, intentionally, or randomly. Writers always say that you should write for an audience of one. Perhaps, here, I should be the one person I write to, I write for.
Whatever I do, I want to be present in my life. My physical life. We are all, to some extent, leading disembodied digital lives. That's the world we live in. But we spend too much time staring at screens when we should be absorbing one another's revealing expressions, the earth's intricate design, our food's magnificent color, smell, taste, texture.
I suppose this is a funny way to tell you that I'm actually going to move my blog. Again. Bad branding, I know. I'll lose some of the small following I have, I know. But, this space, it's not home. I sit and think stiffly here, I don't relax and breathe easily. It's not me, it doesn't really mean much to me.
I don't know if that makes sense to anyone outside of my mind. It is what it is.
In the next couple of months, I'll leave this space and move on to another. This time, I think I'll be able to settle down there, finally start making it my own. In the meantime, I'll keep posting here, when I get the urge and opportunity.
I really cannot express how thankful I am to those of you who drop by and read my often rambling words. You're incredible human beings. That's a fact.